Flip it upside down

By Laura | May 15, 2019

Ethan smiling on Laura's lap while on a swing.

It’s so easy to worry isn’t it? All parents worry about their children, don’t they? I know my Mum and Dad still worry about me, even though I’m now 34. Having a child with a disability, I think, probably comes with even greater worry, or maybe just different worries. My worries aren’t necessarily about right now - they’re more about Ethan’s future and revolve so much around what he will be able to do independently. Will he be able to feed himself? Will he be able to walk? Will he be able to go to the toilet Independently? And so on! The worries also revolve around how he will develop socially and how he will be accepted and loved by others. How will he be able to play? Will friends want to play with him if he can’t do what they can? Will other children be unkind to him? The worry would consume me, if I let it!

I try so hard all the time to flip it all upside down and instead of worrying about what he might not be able to do, I try and think about what I know for sure he will be able to do or feel - those things that we don’t need our arms and legs for. I know he will be loved. I know he will feel loved. And I know that this is massive!! I know that you don’t need arms and legs to have a sense of humour. I know he will be able to learn. I know he will have hobbies - whatever they may be. And I know that he will learn how to persevere and overcome trials! Nothing is guaranteed, but I know that there is much he WILL be able to to do!

I also try to flip around feelings when things seem unfair. It would be so easy to dwell on the negative. There are times when it feels so unfair that my son has this condition. It feels so unfair that he doesn’t grab toys like other babies do, or that he finds it so hard to sit for more than a couple of minutes on our laps. But there is just so so so much to be thankful for. I’m so thankful he is here. I’m so thankful for his smile and giggle. I’m so thankful that he is ours. And there’s so much more to be thankful for. It’s so much healthier to think of all the things I am thankful for, than dwell on disappointment and negativity. It’s a choice, but I have to choose to flip it.

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